According to the Mother of Terrifying Space Monkeys

My New Books Sent Me a Letter!

quiregirl — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 22:30:33 +0000

I kid not. The three books I ordered from BetterWorldBooks.com just sent me an email! As if I didn’t already love BWB for their environmentally friendly practices, global literacy projects and (hey, hey!) low prices, they sent the following extremely cute letter:

Hello MoTSM,

(Your book(s) asked to write you a personal note – it seemed unusual, but who are we to say no?)

Holy canasta! It’s me… it’s me! I can’t believe it is actually me! You could have picked any of over 2 million books but you picked me! I’ve got to get packed! How is the weather where you live? Will I need a dust jacket? I can’t believe I’m leaving Mishawaka, Indiana already – the friendly people, the Hummer plant, the Linebacker Lounge – so many memories. I don’t have much time to say goodbye to everyone, but it’s time to see the world!

I can’t wait to meet you! You sound like such a well read person. Although, I have to say, it sure has taken you a while! I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but how would you like to spend five months sandwiched between Jane Eyre (drama queen) and Fundamentals of Thermodynamics (pyromaniac)? At least Jane was an upgrade from that stupid book on brewing beer. How many times did the ol’ brewmaster have one too many and topple off our shelf at 2am?

I know the trip to meet you will be long and fraught with peril, but after the close calls I’ve had, I’m ready for anything (besides, some of my best friends are suspense novels). Just five months ago, I thought I was a goner. My owner was moving and couldn’t take me with her. I was sure I was landfill bait until I ended up in a Better World Books book drive bin. Thanks to your socially conscious book shopping, I’ve found a new home. Even better, your book buying dollars are helping kids read from Brazil to Botswana.

But hey, enough about me, I’ve been asked to brief you on a few things:

We sent your order to the following address:

Mother of Terrifying Space Monkeys

123 Random St.

Suburbia, USA

Order #: xxxxxxxxx

We provide quick shipping service to all our customers. You chose USPS Standard Mail shipping, your book should arrive within 4 – 14 business days. The Postal Service may occasionally take slightly longer to deliver your book.

At this time, we are not able to offer tracking on our USPS Standard Mail shipments.

If you have any questions or concerns, please email my friends in Customer Care at help@betterworldbooks.com. If you could please include your order number (11173176) that would be very helpful.

Eagerly awaiting our meeting,

First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind: Level 3 Instructor Guide (First Language Lessons)

First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind, Level 3 Student Workbook

First Language Lessons for the Well-Trained Mind: Level 1 (Second Edition) (First Language Lessons)

I cannot wait for these well-mannered, expressive books to help teach my kids about the English language.

Zombie Haiku Anyone?

quiregirl — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 13:52:11 +0000

I randomly found my way over to the blog “Fix It or Deal” and the author is requesting Zombie haiku poetry. Go visit and enjoy the subtle combination of these two completely mismatched genres. It will make you smile! Or grab your shotgun, just in case.

http://fixitordeal.wordpress.com/2010/10/15/zombie-zombie-burning-bright/

Ridiculous Challenge of 2010 Completed!

quiregirl — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 15:06:49 +0000

In 2008, I started setting one ridiculous challenge for myself every year. 2008 was NaNoWriMo; 2009 was trying to read 100 books in the year (only made it to 79). In January of 2010, I again decided to attempt the 100 books in a year challenge. I am please to report that I have crossed the finish line! Here is the list of books I read:

1. Nightlight, by The Harvard Lampoon

2. Alan Mendelsohn, the Boy From Mars, by Daniel M. Pinkwater

3. Book Lust: Recommended Reading for Every Mood, Moment, and Reason, by Nancy Pearl

4. The Black Company, by Glen Cook

5. Gathering Blue, by Lois Lowry (audiobook)

6. The Maze Runner, by James Dashner

7. The Evolution of Useful Things, by Henry Petroski

8. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

9. Twisted Tales from Shakespeare, by Richard Armour

10. This Is Why You’re Fat, by Jessica Amason and Richard Blakeley

11. Messenger, by Lois Lowry (audiobook)

12. Parenting the Strong-Willed Child, by Kevin Hinckley

13. 1066 and All That: A Memorable History of England, by W.C. Sellar and R.J. Yeatman

14. The Goose Girl, by Shannon Hale

15. Heart of Darkness, by Joseph Conrad

16. I Heart You, You Haunt Me, by Lisa Schroeder

17. How to Survive a Horror Movie: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills, by Seth Grahame-Smith

18. Waiter Rant: Thanks for the Tip-Confessions of a Cynical Waiter, by Steve Dublanica

19. Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes

20. The Dark Divine, by Bree Despain

21. Ella Minnow Pea, by Mark Dunn

22. God Wants a Powerful People, by Sheri Dew

23. Zero: The Biography of a Dangerous Idea, by Charles Seife

24. Foundation, by Isaac Asimov

25. Shiver, by Maggie Stiefvater

26. The Omnivore’s Dilemma, by Michael Pollan

27. Cake Wrecks, by Jen Yates

28. My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult

29. Believing Christ, by Stephen E. Robinson

30. Gregor the Overlander, by Suzanne Collins

31. A New Threat (Star Wars: Boba Fett, Book 5), by Elizabeth Hand

32. You Can Tell Your Kid Will Grow Up to Be a Librarian When…”: Cartoons About the Profession, by Richard Lee

33. Mistborn, by Brandon Sanderson

34. Hush, Hush, by Becca Fitzpatrick

35. The Continuous Atonement, by Brad Wilcox

36. Shades of Grey: The Road to High Saffron, by Jasper Fforde

37. The Power of Half: One Family’s Decision to Stop Taking and Start Giving Back, by Kevin and Hannah Salwen

38. The Peace Giver, by James L. Ferrell

39. My Sister, My Self, by Vikki Stark

40. Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, by Ori and Rom Brafman

41. The Well of Ascension, by Brandon Sanderson

42. Beekeeping for Dummies, by Howland Blackiston

43. Doomsday Book, by Connie Willis

44. Hunted (Star Wars: Boba Fett, Book 4), by Elizabeth Hand

45. A Woman Among Warlords: The Extraordinary Story of an Afghan Who Dared to Raise Her Voice, by Malalai Joya

46. I Capture the Castle, by Dodie Smith

47. The Lost Symbol, by Dan Brown

48. The ABS Diet for Women: The Six-Week Plan to Flatten Your Belly and Firm Up Your Body for Life, by David Zinczenko

49. Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, by Mary Roach

50. The Angel Experiment (Maximum Ride, #1), by James Patterson

51. Godless, by Pete Hautman

52. Shakespeare: A Book of Quotations (Dover Thrift Editions), by William Shakespeare

53. Hamlet, by William Shakespeare

54. Perfect Chemistry, by Simone Elkeles

55. The Richest Man In Babylon For Today: New Secrets For Building Wealth in The 21st Century, by Fred Siegel

56. Their Eyes Were Watching God, by Zora Neale Hurston

57. Eclipse, by Stephenie Meyer

58. Uglies (audiobook), by Scott Westerfeld

59. The Rescue, by Nicholas Sparks

60. Vampire High, Douglas Rees

61. Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough, by Lori Gottlieb

62. Heat Wave, by Richard Castle (fictitious author, © ABC studios)

63. Beautiful Creatures, Kami Garcia & Margaret Stohl

64. The Westing Game, by Ellen Raskin

65. Lord of the Flies, by William Golding

66. The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, by Stephenie Meyer

67. Rebecca, by Daphne DuMaurier

68. Council of Judges, by Kathleen Easton (unpublished manuscript)

69. The Ranger’s Apprentice: The Ruins of Gorlan, by John Flanagan

70. Embryo Culture: Making Babies in the Twenty-first Century, by Beth Kohl

71. Pretties (audiobook), by Scott Westerfeld

72. The Hungry Woman: Myths and Legends of the Aztecs, by John Bierhorst

73. Gone, by Michael Grant

74. The Actor and the Housewife, by Shannon Hale

75. Hearing the Voice of the Lord, by Gerald N. Lund

76. Unwind, by Neal Shusterman

77. Screwed Up English: Twisted Translations of the English Language from Around the World, by Charlie Croker

78. The Ultimate Career: The Art of Homemaking for Today, by Daryl Hoole

79. The Beekeeper’s Handbook, Third Edition, by Alphonse Avitabile

80. Specials (audiobook), by Scott Westerfeld

81. Flow: The Cultural Story of Menstruation, by Elissa Stein and Susan Kim

82. Following Christ: The Parable of the Divers and More Good News, by Stephen E. Robinson

83. Girl in the Arena, by Lise Haines

84. Leap of Faith, by Bob Bennett

85. Lighting Their Fires: Raising Extraordinary Children in a Mixed-up, Muddled-up, Shook-up World, by Rafe Esquith

86. Feeding the Fire: The Lost History and Uncertain Future of Mankind’s Energy Addiction, by Mark Eberhart

87. Hunger (Gone, #2), by Michael Grant

88. Mockingjay, by Suzanne Collins

89. Skin Hunger (A Resurrection of Magic #1), by Kathleen Duey

90. What Is Goth?, by Voltaire (Aurelio Voltaire Hernandez)

91. If I Stay, by Gayle Forman

92. Sacred Scars (A Resurrection of Magic #2), by Kathleen Duey

93. Plenitude, by Juliet B. Schor

94. One Second After, by William R. Forstchen

95. Spotlight, by John Granger

96. Stolen, by Lucy Christopher

97. The Bride of Anguished English, by Richard Lederer

98. The Housewife’s Handbook: How to Run the Modern Home, Rachel Simhon

99. Everlasting, by Angie Frazier

100. A Survivor’s Guide to Home Schooling, by Luanne Shackleford and Susan White

And now, I’m going to rest my eyes…

Potty-training and a Public Service Announcement

quiregirl — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 18:32:25 +0000

Well, I guess it’s about time I updated this blog or something. *insert eye roll*

We embarked last week on the quest to potty-train TSM4. Over all, his has been the easiest training time of any of our children. He is successfully getting to the potty for number one, and this morning he got to the bathroom in time for number two. Even more encouraging, he can tell the difference!

Some might wonder why I’m even bothering to mention this. Am I gloating? No. Am I obsessed with my children’s bathroom habits? Maybe. I’m sharing this because TSM4 also gave up his afternoon nap this week! I want to be all, “Poor me!” And I am reminding myself that I have some significant things for which to be grateful.

Now, on to the public service announcement. Without a doubt, this is the very best PSA I have ever seen. Click here. Doesn’t that just make you want to click-it?!

NaNoWriMo ’round the Corner

quiregirl — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:57:14 +0000

Well, I am going to participate in NaNoWriMo again this year. I am, however, going to be a rebel.

I am not starting a brand new novel; I am going to add to the one I wrote last year. Eve House needs a lot more background, character development and, frankly, has a sagging middle. Wish me luck forcing the draft through a grueling abdominal workout…

Two for One: Baby and a Movie Review

quiregirl — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 20:58:38 +0000

Well, our beautiful little daughter –call her the Terrifying Space Monkey Princess — was born July 20th. She weighed 7 lbs. 13 oz. and was 19 3/4 inces long. She is extremely cute, the TSMs all adore her, and are quite possessive and protective already.

Woe betide any young swain who comes a courtin’ at this house. He won’t even get a foot in the door. TSM4, who just turned 2, calls TSMP “my baby” that’s how possessive we’re talking. The four of them can’t do enough holding of bottles, fetching of clean diapers, or disposing of the stinky ones. Need a pacifier? No problem. The passy patrol is always on duty. They may even clean it off in their mouths first. Is that service, or what???

Now, some of you might be wondering what movie could possibly pull me away from all the family fun. Well, to be honest, all the family fun was kicked out left me for the day (water park). I was forced to fend for myself, so I took in a matinee showing of The Time Traveler’s Wife.

Everything you really need to know about the plot is encapsulated in the title. The movie chronicles the relationship between a man, Henry, who travels through time inadvertently and his wife, Claire, a woman he’s known since she was 6 years old. Before you think “Eewwwww, dirty old man!” let me say that their relationship is in no way creepy. And before you say “Eewwwww, science fiction!” let me say that there is no SF here. Well, okay time travel isn’t possible, but the point is that there isn’t any hard science to deal with — the story is about the relationship.

That said, I saw the movie in a theater with a couple of other AWOL moms and about 20 senior citizens. I have to say it was a unique movie going experience. The 75+ movie crowd is much like the teenage movie crowd for commenting loudly on what they see. Sadly, many were having trouble following the time-travelling plot. I heard lots of, “I’m confused.” and even one, “I don’t know what the hell is going on!” The funniest though was when Henry went in for medical tests and two ladies in front of me started comparing notes on their favorite medical tests. That is not a joke, BTW.

I mention these things not to poke fun at the elderly, but to point out how being at different points in our lives gives us different perspectives on what we experience. This movie, as in the book, had so much emotional and relational grist for the analytical mill. It was well worth seeing and I wonder what it would be like to see it again 10 or 20 years from now. How will I have changed? How will my thinking be different? One recurring theme of the story is whether knowing the future changes things. So, that is my question to you: Does knowing the future change or destroy one’s free will?

Don’t Get Excited Yet, with music

quiregirl — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:08:55 +0000

It’s just a post. Not a baby.

The wee diva has sabotaged two Friday evenings in a row with regular contractions and no actual appearance. Other than that, I am still feeling round and watermelony.

I’ve also been goofing around with my playlist. Since for some reason WordPress won’t let me post my player from Playlist.com, you’ll have to go here to listen to some of the stuff I like: http://www.playlist.com/playlist/11840883467.

I’m curious to hear what you think.

Obligatory, Guilt Evasion Post

quiregirl — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 13:32:53 +0000

Just a little non-witty, thought-unprovoking shout out to say that I’m here. Wretchedly tired, but here.

Hubby’s away on a business trip, so I’m doing the temporary single mom thing and wondering how so many women do it full time. Also, we’ve just six weeks to go before the scheduled debut of Princess TSM. I’ve finally got over the fear of “girl” and now I’m looking forward to having some estrogen backup in the house. That’s pretty much it for this week.

Humpty Dumpty Was Pushed: a book review

quiregirl — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:01:35 +0000

A couple of months ago, I stumbled across a fantastic writer. Jasper Fforde. Since February, I have read all but one of his books and each was wonderful. The most recent one I finished was The Big Over Easy, the first book in his Nursery Crime series. It is about the investigation by the local PD after Humpty Dumpty was found broken at the bottom of his wall.

In real life, I have always imagined that Mr. Dumpty was pushed. Seriously, what egg would climb a wall and sit there for hours if he didn’t have perfect balance? He had to have been “assisted” off that wall. I was glad to find a like-minded author’s account of this nursery rhyme tragedy. Although, as it turns out, Mr. Dumpty was shot.

If you have a healthy sense of the absurd, you will love this book!

Motherhood PTSD

quiregirl — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 21:52:25 +0000

Hello. And welcome back to our (semi-) regularly scheduled programming. I have been most slack in my blogging as several of you have noted. Thanks, Mom! Thanks also to K~, E~, and D~. Your continual nagging support is much appreciated. I actually had sat down to blog a number of times over the last several months, but never got to finish. Interruptions? Here? I so have five post drafts lurking about backstage. They aren’t timely anymore, but I’m sure I’ll get around to posting them. Eventually.

So, on to the reason for today’s post.

I have been the lucky recipient of 24 hours of peace and quiet. I can practically hear your shocked gasps and dumbfounded mumbling, “How is that possible???” My personal superhero, aka my hubby, took TSMs 1-3 camping last night and sent TSM4 to stay at a friend’s house. Yes, my friend J~ is a superhero too! I am sitting here at hour 23 reflecting on my time alone and the things that I have noticed.

#1 I can get things done 3 – 4 times quicker without kids.

This is, of course, a no-brainer. But it has reminded me that when my kids are “helping” me with a chore or project that they go slower because they are learning how to do it properly. (I hope.) It gets frustrating sometimes. But I have to remember that I am in the business of raising bright, happy, healthy, competent children – and not in the business of doing laundry, cleaning or beautifying the landscaping. Let’s face it, if I were doing those things as a business the paycheck would be better.

#2 I hear voices.

In the same way I can sometimes hear my mother’s voice as I’m trying to make a decision, I hear my kids when they’re not here. Scary, isn’t it? It’s kind of like the mommy version of post-traumatic stress disorder. I was laying in bed this morning thinking about what I wanted to do today, and I swear I heard my kids yelling. Now before you think about getting me sized for a straight-jacket let me say that the reason for the 24 hr. leave was because I was getting overwhelmed by my kids’ constant chatter, questions and bickering. It was just too much noise. So how did my brain choose to relax? By creating similar noise. Bizarre.

#3 Getting away (or sending them away) occasionally is good, because it gives us time to miss and appreciate our loved ones.

At the end of my 24 hours of peace and quiet, I amstarting to miss my hubby and kids. They will be home in about an hour and I am happy to see them, loudness and all.

#4 Being married to a superhero and having superhero friends is good. Very, very good!

Having good friends in life is as important a need as food, clothing and shelter. Family and social networks, the truly supportive kind, are what keep society (and SAHMs) from flying apart. If you are the kind of friend who would watch someone’s kids just because, and not just in an emergency, pat yourself on the back. You are a superhero too!